Survival guide for visitors to South Africa:

What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be invited to when you visit South Africa. A braai is a backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever the weather. So you will have to go even if it's raining like mad and hell of a cold. At a braai you will be introduced to a substance known as mealiepap. Read  further for an explanation of "pap".

Now that you know what a braai is, here are some other words and phrases you will encounter in South Africa, used by folk of all persuasions, genders and ethnic adherences. 
You do need to know what they mean. Really. 

- Ag. This is one of the most useful South African words. 
Pronounced like the "ach" in the German "achtung", it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a tricky question, as in: "Ag, I don't know". Or a sense of resignation: "Ag, I'll have some more pap then". It can stand alone too as a signal of irritation or of pleasure. 

- Biltong. Similar to jerky, it is dried, salted meat and can be made from beef, ostrich, antelope or anything that was once alive and fairly large. It is usual for expatriate South Africans to say: "What I really miss is my biltong, man".

- Bioscope. Pronounced "byscope", its use is going out of fashion and in some urban areas, regrettably, it is being replaced by "movies" and "flicks". Sometimes it is reduced to "bio" or "scopes". But you may still be asked if you would like to go to the bioscope.
 
- Blooming. Pronounced "blimming", it is roughly equivalent to "helluva", as in: "Ag, that pap I had at the braai made me blooming sick". For emphasis, "blooming" can be replaced by "bladdy" which, in turn, is a corruption of the Australian "bloody".

- Dirtbin. Self-explanatory, this is a garbage can. It is also called a "rubbish bin". If you refer to rubbish as "garbage" you will be considered blooming pretentious.

- Doll. A term of affection between males and females, it is used mostly in the Johannesburg area. A corrupted form of "darling", it will be heard thus: "Your turn to take out the dirtbin, Doll". "But I took it out the last time, Doll". "Well take the bladdy thing out again, Doll".

- Eina. Widely used by all language groups, this word, derived from the Afrikaans, means "ouch". Pronounced "aynah", you can shout it out in sympathy when someone burns his finger on a hot potato at a braai.

- Fixed up. This means "good". An example is this exchange:
"You don't have to take the dirtbin out, Doll; I took it already". 
"Fixed up, Doll".

- Isit? This is a great word in conversations. Derived from the two words "is" and "it", it can be used when you have nothing to contribute if someone tells you at the braai: "The Russians will succeed in their bid for capitalism once they adopt a work ethic and respect for private ownership". It is appropriate to respond by saying: "Isit?"

- Just now. Universally used, it means "eventually" and sometimes "never". If someone says he will do something "just now" it could be in 10 minutes or tomorrow. Or maybe he won't do it at all.

- Lekker. An Afrikaans word meaning nice, this word is used by all language groups to express approval. If you see somone of the opposite sex who is good-looking, you can exclaim: "Lekkerrr!" while drawing out the last syllable. But that use is now thought politically incorrect in some areas.

-Marmite. Contrary to American disinformation, Marmite is not discarded axle grease. Bought in small glass jars at supermarkets and cafes, Marmite is a salty vegetable extract and is the S.A. answer to peanut butter (American), or Vegimite (Australian). Generations have grown up with it on their school sarmies and, in turn, have inflicted it on their own children. This process has been going on for so long now, Marmite has become unstoppable.

- No. This word has many meanings in South Africa other than the opposite of "yes". Your host at the braai is likely to say: "No, I see your plate is empty. You want some more pap?". Another example; if the clerk in a shoe shop asks if she can help, you may reply: "No, I'm looking for some tackies". This means: "Yes, I'm looking for some tackies".

- Tackies. These are sneakers or running shoes. The word is also used to describe autmobile or truck tyres. "Fat tackies" are big tyres, as in: "Where did you get those lekker fat tackies on your Volksie (VW), hey?"

- Oke. A "guy" or "chap" or "bloke". If you quite like someone you can "Ag, he is an OK oke". Instead of "oke" you can also say "ou" which is pronounced "Oh".

- Pap. Encountered at braais, pap is boiled corn meal. Pronounced "pup" it has the appearance, consistency and, many say, the taste of moist Plaster of Paris. Lots of South Africans pretend to like it. Eating pap is character building in the sense that one learns to grin and bear adversity, rather like Americans in the South have grown spiritually by consuming grits. In religious context, this process is called self-flagellation.

- Shame. Like "No", this word can mean the opposite of its meaning in other parts of the world. If someone shows you a baby, you can say: "Ag, shame". This does not mean the baby is ugly, it means the baby is cute. If the baby is ugly, it is more accurate to say: "Shame, hey". If the baby is truly hideous, it is appropriate to say: "Jislaaik". This may not be appreciated by the baby's parents.

-Dummy. If you find yourself in the company of a couple with a baby and the woman says, "pass me the dummy," she is not necessarily asking that you bring her husband to her. She is referring to the rubber, nipple-like thing they stick in babies' mouths to shut them up. A dummy is a pacifier.

- Gogga. This is an insect, a bug, and all three of the g's are pronounced as though you are about to spit. South Africa is rich in goggas, some of them cute - like the harmless mantis and the intriguing stick insect - but others are disgraceful. The cockroach is the most disgraceful, especially when they fly. Natal has some monsters which could challenge Florida roaches any day.

- Make A Plan. You will hear this good old South African phrase quite a lot. It means things might be screwed right now but we'll think of something just now. If you miss the bus to the airport, the hotel receptionist may say,"Don't worry man, we'll make a plan". If that plan includes the hiring of a taxi,  you may want to think twice about it.

- Skop, Skiet en Donder. Literally "kick, shoot and thunder" in Afrikaans, this phrase is used by many English speakers to describe action movies or any activity which is lively and somewhat primitive. Clint Eastwood is always good for a skop, skiet en donder flick.

- Vrot. ("Frot") A wonderful word which means "rotten" or "putrid" in Afrikaans, it is used by all language groups to describe anything they really don't like. Most commonly it describes fruit or vegetables whose shelf lives have long expired, but a pair of takkies (sneakers) worn a few times too often can be termed vrot by unfortunate folk in the same room as the wearer. Someone who has had too much too drink may also be called "vrot". Also a rugby player who misses important tackles can be said to have played a vrot game - but not to his face because he won't appreciate it. We once saw a movie review with this headline: "Slick Flick, Vrot Plot". We enjoyed the headline more than the movie.

- Bakkie. A pickup truck. Bakkies (pronounced buckys) are extremely popular in SA, often fitted with fibreglass canopies, and some with fat tackies.

- Robot. Traffic lights. No one knows why we started calling them robots, we think that everyone else does as well, and consider anyone calling them "traffic lights" to be pretentious. "My bakkie's parked there by the robots" 

- Jol. Party. Also to play. "Gee, that braai at Adam's place was quite a jol, hey!"